February 28, 2012
Survallience Cameras

Operator: Work and Home Monitoring, this is Daniel speaking.

Some guy: Hi, John Comido how ya doing? I’m calling about some new surveillance cameras.

Operator: I’d be happy to help you with that. Will these be for your home or business.

Some guy: I’m actually calling on behalf of countless businesses across countless industries. I represent every convenient store, every bank, countless McDonaldses, a bunch of apartment buildings, public offices, private offices – you name, I probably buy the surveillance camera for them.

Operator: Oh wow, I didn’t know they all worked together. Well what can I help you with?

Some guy: A lot of the surveillance cameras at these properties are getting old – some of the Rewind buttons don’t work any more – no fault of you guys, these cameras are just old. We’ve probably had the same ones for 15 years.

Operator: Oh wow.

Some guy: So we need some new ones.

Operator: Well I’d be happy to help you with that. There have been quite a few advancements in the past 15 years-

Some guy: -Now we don’t need anything fancy. The cameras we have are just fine: standard black and white, records three seconds, skips one, maybe throw in a couple that only show in various shades of green. And do you guys still give a deal on blank tapes?

Operator: Hmm, well I’d recommend upgrading to digital cameras. We have great deals on

Some guy: Look. I said we don’t need anything fancy. I’m not falling for your tricks. Gimme your standard black and white with the blurry squares over the faces. And I want it to be at least a foot long. Don’t sell me any puny camera. I want the biggest and best camera you got!