May 1, 2012
A Convenient Segue

We all have convenient details. Interesting and flattering tidbits about ourselves that we revel in when they get brought up. Not when we bring them up; when they get brought up. Maybe it’s the marathon you ran, a trip you took, the project you worked on. Something impressive that you can’t even bring up without sounding like an asshole.  

But every once in a while, a convenient segues unfolds at just the right time to allow you to modestly tell your story.

And here’s my segue: spring is to attractive women as convenient segues are to the rest of us. It’s a time when attractive women get to casually remind us that they are indeed attractive. Their beauty is accentuated. And this convenient occurrence seems to come out of nowhere. All of the sudden the weather is awesome and the attractive women are so much more attractive.  

They wear sundresses not to show off their bodies, but because it’s the season for sundresses. And of course shorts are going to extenuate their legs, they’re shorts.

Not that I’m complaining. I love when the weather turns nice.

I’m actually writing this from an outdoor coffee shop, basking in the sun like the rest of Portland. And there’s an attractive woman is sitting on the other side of the patio. She’s wearing a loose white tank top over navy blue shorts. Short, navy blue shorts. She has brown hair that falls to the top of her back, which is exposed. And she has a great back.

Everyone here is aware of her. Every guy and every girl. She looks good. And good for her. It’s her season to shine. She knows this. She’s been waiting for it.

Which is why I got great pleasure when the bathroom door finally opened. The “occupied” lever had been turned for a solid eight minutes. A women stood behind me. I tried to open the door just to make sure it wasn’t broken, but it was locked. Someone was inside. A man joined the line. And we waited. We all looked at each other. And we waited. 12 minutes passed.

Finally a flush. Running water. Pulled hand towels. And an opened door to revel the attractive woman. She looked down – as we all do – when she walked past the bathroom queue. And I can’t help but think that the woman and the man behind me joined me in staring at the attractive woman’s lowered face, daring her to look up and acknowledge this inconvenient segue.